Getting Over a Break Up

The end of a relationship gives rise to an explosion of emotions from a loss of self to the fear of change and the future.  The emotional process we go through when getting over a break up  requires  the vigorous combination of discovering one’s self,  growing acceptance, embracing change and the driving force behind it all—a promising new beginning.

Boost Your Self-Esteem
At a time of great stress, the most important thing you can do when getting over a break-up is to take care of yourself, including your fragile self-esteem.  Understandably, when you someone you believe is the love of your life, you feel rejected and you begin to doubt yourself and your self-worth.  These negative thoughts will only feed unhealthy behaviors, which will drag you into a vicious cycle and downward spiral.  When getting over a break up, you deserve better than that!

It’s important to embrace a positive attitude and build your confidence to help you cope, recover and move forward from this setback.  Appreciate who you are, smile and pamper yourself. Explore a variety of tools to help build your self-esteem including exercise, self-affirmations and self-confidence meditation.  And if you feel you need additional support, don’t hesitate to seek the advice of a therapist or self help coach as a positive attitude and outlook will boost you forward.

Regain Your Identity
Getting over a break up not only impacts our self-esteem, but also our sense of self.  During a relationship we develop interdependence with our partner, which is why we often referred to them as our other half, even going so far as finishing sentences for them. So right now you may feel scared and insecure with a loss of self clarity, which creates emotional distress, as this is a time of change.
At this point it’s important to understand who you are, decide what you want in life and then make a plan to get there. When getting over a break up, think back to how you lived your life when you were single, and then take the steps to adapt to an independent life.  Being on your own also has benefits, so don’t fear, but embrace change and enjoy all the facets of being single again.

Let Go of Hard Feelings
When someone you love hurts you it’s natural to feel sad, angry and resentful, sometimes with looming thoughts of revenge. However, when getting over a break up, to heal the pain and move forward, open your heart to forgiveness.  Otherwise, your life may become so engulfed in the anger that you can’t enjoy the present or look forward to better and happier future.

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Renew Strained Relations
If you feel you’re the one who needs to be forgiven, then admit that you were wrong and sincerely ask for forgiveness, which will help to renew a strained relationship over time. If you share mutual interests with your ex, such as children, friends or investments, then it’s in everyone’s best interest to get along, as hard as it may be. When getting over a break up, you shouldn’t move too swiftly into a new friendship with your ex, but start by showing a new respect towards each other.  It’s important that you avoid hurtful or confrontational topics when you see your ex, as you already had the break up conversation, and it’s time to forget about the past and prepare for a healthy future.